Jesus teaches us two things about prayer that can feel like they pull in opposite directions.
On one hand:
“Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do,
that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”
—John 14:13
On the other:
“Your kingdom come, your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.”
—Matthew 6:10
Add in promises like:
“Ask, and it will be given to you…”
—Matthew 7:7
and also the example of Jesus in Gethsemane:
“Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”
—Luke 22:42
Are we supposed to pray boldly for what we desire, or submit quietly to whatever God wills?
This is the paradox:
Pray boldly vs. “Thy will be done.”
We’ll explore:
- Why this is a paradox, not a contradiction
- Childlike boldness under fatherly wisdom
- Prayer as participation in God’s will
- God’s promises about prayer
- Conditions and common reasons prayers seem unanswered
- Practical examples that hold both bold asking and humble surrender
- Why this paradox matters for how you pray today
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1. Paradox, Not Contradiction
A real contradiction would be:
- “Ask for whatever you want and God must give it to you,”
and simultaneously - “You must never ask for anything specific; just accept whatever comes.”
Scripture doesn’t teach either of those.
Instead:
- We are commanded to ask, seek, knock (Matthew 7:7–8).
- We are commanded to pray, “Your will be done” (Matthew 6:10).
- We’re shown a Savior who pours out His heart and yet submits His will (Luke 22:42).
John Calvin captured this tension:
“We are not to prescribe to God or bind Him to our wishes,
yet we are to pour out our hearts in confidence,
assured that He is a Father who delights to hear His children.”
—paraphrased from Institutes 3.20
So prayer is both:
- Bold asking and
- Humble yielding.
Not one instead of the other, but both at the same time.
2. Childlike Boldness Under Fatherly Wisdom
Jesus grounds bold prayer in the Fatherhood of God:
“Which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?
Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”
—Matthew 7:9–11
A. Childlike Boldness
Children don’t hold back with their parents:
- They ask freely.
- They speak honestly.
- They don’t calculate whether a request is “too small” or “too big.”
Scripture invites us to pray like that:
“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace,
that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
—Hebrews 4:16
“Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
—1 Peter 5:7
Augustine wrote:
“God wants us to exercise desire in prayer,
so that He may enlarge our soul and make it able to receive what He is preparing to give.”
—paraphrased
So bold prayer is not arrogance; it is trust in a Father’s generosity.
B. Under Fatherly Wisdom
At the same time, good parents:
- Don’t give everything a child asks for.
- Sometimes say “no” or “not yet”
because they see dangers and purposes the child doesn’t see.
How much more our Father in heaven?
“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!”
—Romans 11:33
We bring real desires to a Father who has better wisdom than we do.
So Christian prayer is:
- Childlike boldness
under - Fatherly wisdom.
3. Prayer as Participation in God’s Will
If God is sovereign and His will is sure, why pray at all?
Because in Scripture, prayer is not mainly about changing God’s plan, but about:
- Aligning us with His will
- And being used as one of the means He has chosen to accomplish His will.
A. “Your Will Be Done” Is Not Passive Resignation
In the Lord’s Prayer:
“Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
—Matthew 6:10
We are asking:
- “Father, let your saving, righteous, good purposes advance here.”
- “Bring more of heaven’s obedience, love, and justice into this world.”
This is active participation, not shrugging fatalism.
J.I. Packer said:
“God’s sovereignty is not a reason to stop praying;
it is the reason we can pray with confidence.
Our prayers are part of the way He brings about what He has planned.”
—paraphrased from Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God
B. Prayer as a Chosen Means
Scripture repeatedly ties God’s actions to His people’s prayers:
- Elijah prays, and the rain stops; he prays again, and it returns (James 5:17–18).
- The church prays, and Peter is freed from prison (Acts 12:5–11).
- Paul asks churches to pray so that a “door for the word” may be opened (Colossians 4:3).
God could act without us, but He chooses to involve us through prayer.
We’re not spectators; we’re participants.
So when we pray “Thy will be done,” we are not opting out; we are joining in.
4. God’s Promises About Prayer
Jesus gives astonishing promises:
“Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do,
that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”
—John 14:13
“If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.”
—John 14:14
“If you abide in me, and my words abide in you,
ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”
—John 15:7
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him,
that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”
—1 John 5:14
These promises are real; we should not dilute them.
Yet Scripture also qualifies how they are to be understood.
5. Conditions and Common Reasons Prayers Seem Unanswered
When prayers don’t turn out as we hope, Scripture gives several lenses.
A. Praying in Jesus’ Name (Aligned with His Character and Mission)
“In my name” is not a magic formula at the end of a prayer;
it means praying:
- In line with who Jesus is
- In pursuit of His glory and kingdom, not merely our comfort.
“That the Father may be glorified in the Son.”
—John 14:13
If we ask for things that would dishonor Christ or work against His kingdom,
we are not truly asking “in His name.”
B. According to God’s Will
“If we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”
—1 John 5:14
Sometimes our requests:
- Are good in themselves,
- But not God’s will for that time, place, or way.
God’s will includes:
- His commands (what He has revealed we should do), and
- His secret purposes (how He will lead, give, withhold, or redirect).
C. Wrong Motives
James is explicit:
“You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”
—James 4:3
If prayer is driven by:
- Pride,
- Self-exaltation,
- Greed,
- A desire to indulge sin,
we should not expect those prayers to be answered as we wish.
D. Unrepented Sin and Broken Relationships
The Bible also connects unanswered prayer with:
- Cherished sin: “If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” (Psalm 66:18)
- Dishonoring a spouse: Husbands are to live considerately with their wives “so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)
God may lovingly withhold answers to wake us up,
call us to repentance, or restore broken relationships.
E. God’s Higher Purposes and Timing
Sometimes:
- There is no obvious sin or wrong motive.
- The request is good and biblical.
- Yet God still says “no” or “not yet.”
Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” is a classic example:
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.
But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’”
—2 Corinthians 12:8–9
God had a higher purpose:
- To display His strength through Paul’s weakness,
- To guard Paul from spiritual pride (2 Corinthians 12:7).
Tim Keller summarized this helpfully:
“God will either give us what we ask
or give us what we would have asked
if we knew everything He knows.”
—paraphrased from Prayer
6. Examples: Bold Prayer and Humble Surrender Together
Example 1: Praying for Healing
A believer’s close friend is diagnosed with cancer.
- Boldness:
- You pray specifically: “Lord, please heal her. Remove this cancer. Restore her strength.”
- You rally others to pray. You anoint with oil if your church practices that (James 5:14–15).
- You ask repeatedly and earnestly.
- “Thy will be done”:
- You also pray: “Yet Father, you are wise and good.
If your plan is different from ours, give her—and us—grace to trust you.
Glorify Christ whether by healing or by sustaining her through suffering.”
- You also pray: “Yet Father, you are wise and good.
If she is healed:
- You give thanks and glorify God for His mercy.
If she is not healed, or healed only partially, or ultimately dies:
- You grieve honestly.
- You wrestle and lament (see many Psalms).
- You still cling to the God who “does all things well,” even when you don’t understand how (Mark 7:37).
Example 2: Praying for a Job or Provision
You are unemployed and desperate for work.
- Boldness:
- “Father, you know my needs. I ask for a job that will provide for my family,
allow me to serve you well, and use my gifts. Open specific doors. Give me favor.”
- “Father, you know my needs. I ask for a job that will provide for my family,
- “Thy will be done”:
- “Yet I trust your timing and your placement.
If you close a door, help me believe that you are not abandoning me
but guiding me to something better for my soul and your kingdom.”
- “Yet I trust your timing and your placement.
When one job door slams shut, it may hurt. But often believers can look back later and say,
“He spared me from something, or prepared me for something I couldn’t see then.”
7. Why This Paradox Matters for Our Prayer Life
A. It Frees Us from Cold Fatalism
If we only prayed “Thy will be done,” and never asked, we could drift into:
- Emotional distance from God,
- A passive, resigned spirituality that doesn’t really engage.
But Scripture says:
- “You do not have, because you do not ask.” (James 4:2)
God wants real engagement, real desires, real wrestling.
B. It Guards Us from Name-It-and-Claim-It Presumption
If we only emphasized bold asking without “Thy will be done,” we might think:
- “If I just have enough faith, God must do what I say.”
- When He doesn’t, we either blame ourselves (“I must have failed”) or blame God.
The paradox keeps us:
- Bold but not bossy,
- Confident but not controlling.
C. It Deepens Trust in God’s Character
Holding both together trains our hearts to say:
- “God loves to give good gifts to His children.” (Matthew 7:11)
- “God also knows better than I do what is truly good.” (Romans 8:28)
We become like Jesus in Gethsemane:
“My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me;
nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”
—Matthew 26:39
That is bold honesty and deep surrender in the same breath.
D. It Makes Prayer a Relationship, Not a Transaction
If prayer is only “claiming promises,” it can become mechanical.
If prayer is only “whatever happens, happens,” it can become lifeless.
But when we:
- Pour out our hearts,
- Ask big things,
- Wrestle honestly,
- And then entrust ourselves to the Father’s will,
prayer becomes a living relationship with the triune God.
8. A Closing Encouragement
You are invited to live in this paradox:
- Ask boldly for what you long for.
- Submit humbly to what God knows and wills.
- Trust deeply that He is both wise and kind.
John Newton encouraged believers to come to God like this:
“Thou art coming to a King;
large petitions with thee bring;
for His grace and power are such,
none can ever ask too much.”
—from the hymn Come, My Soul, Thy Suit Prepare
And yet we always end, as Jesus taught us:
“Your kingdom come, your will be done.”
Because in the end:
- The boldest, wisest, and safest thing we can pray
is that our desires and God’s purposes would become one.
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